ncruuk (ncruuk) wrote in femslash_fluff,


TITLE: Bless you...

AUTHOR: ncruuk


CHALLENGE: You'll see ;-)


DISCLAIMERS: Not mine, no money, just some fluffy fun.....

AUTHOR'S NOTES: I was in need of some SG1 fluff....and no, not apologising :-)

"ATISHOO!" Sam's sneeze, which could only have been accurately described as violent, seemed all the more so when it echoed around her lab and up the corridor.

"You ok Ma'am?" asked a passing airman, hearing the extremely loud sneeze and deciding it couldn't help to stick his head into the lab as he passed.

"Huh?" Startled, Sam looked over her shoulder, surprised at the new voice, before realising the question

"Oh, fine thank you Greg, it was just a...." Anything more that Sam might have said was lost in yet another, if possible, louder sneeze than the one which had attracted Greg's attention in the first place.

Shaking her head, almost as if to clear some sort of ringing from her ears, Sam put down her tools and turned off her computer. That was the sixth sneeze in 10 was now officially annoying.

"I'm going to take my sneeze to the infirmary..." explained Sam conversationally, shutting down her lab so that no one could accidentally trigger a small disaster by fiddling...

"Sneezing Ma'am?" Not that he would ever dream of questioning Major Carter, but going to the infirmary for a sneeze? Didn't SG1 normally argue very loudly against going to the infirmary?

"I don't sneeze..." declared Sam firmly, before flashing a dazzling smile and striding off in the direction of the elevator.

"Janet?" called out Sam, gingerly stepping across the infirmary threshold. Whilst the sneezing was annoying, she was beginning to doubt her earlier determination. Was it really so annoying as to risk being confined to the infirmary?

Before her rational self could remind her hysterical self that sneezing was unlikely to get her confined to the infirmary, especially considering she hadn't been off world for almost a month (surely that had to be a record?), a pile of boxes walked into her, startling her from her inner debate.


"Oh, sorry Major Carter..." apologised the boxes, which was actually one of Janet's nurses, carrying a large pile of boxes of something.

"You ok?" asked Sam kindly, stooping to gather the fallen boxes and helpfully restack them on top of the pile the nurse was still holding.

"Fine thank you. Doctor Fraiser is supervising a stock take from bay 3 Ma'am..." explained the nurse, before setting off again, hoping Sam would appreciate that, carrying this many boxes of saline drips, you really couldn't stand around for long, whatever their rank!

"Thank you..." Sam didn't notice, already ambling off towards bay 3. Irrespective what her inner 'voices' might be thinking, her heart was now overriding all of them - Janet was around here and sounded like she could be 'buggable'!

"...23 that all?"

"Yes Doctor...."

"Didn't we have 50 last check?" asked Doctor Fraiser, concerned. Where had her 27 missing bedpans gone in the last six months?

"And then we had that infection from PX2-789 which SG4 brought home...." began the nurse, hoping his boss would remember it.

"Oh right, with the toxic vomit. We got through 27 bedpans?" asked Janet, knowing she'd ordered the bedpans to be sent, with their contents, to be incinerated, but not appreciated quite how many.

"Yes Ma'am..."

"Right, fill out a requisition form for another 27 then and I'll sign it..." began Janet, idly wondering why she hadn't done that at the time.

"Toxic vomit?" asked Sam, announcing her presence.

"Hey..." Janet spun round and immediately smiled at her lover, before continuing, " wasn't pretty - you were offworld the entire time. It was decided we wouldn't share that particular adventure with you...."

"Ah..." Satisfied she wasn't losing her memory, Sam took a moment to survey her surroundings. Janet kept a neat and tidy infirmary, even during a stock take, but it certainly looked a little different with the piles of medical supplies sitting on every available surface.

"You want something?" asked Janet casually, knowing better than to directly ask if an officer who had just walked into her infirmary was feeling ok...

"Ah, not really...." muttered Sam, kicking one boot against the toe of the other as she jammed her hands deep into her pockets.

"Ok..." agreed Janet mildly, refocusing her attention on the next item in her stock take.

"Is this correct?" she asked, amazed.

"Yes Ma'am..."

"You're sure?"

"We've double counted..."

"Hmm..." Flicking through the file, it became apparent what had happened. She had asked for 100 units to be delivered, meaning the units she used in the infirmary, only for the requisition to go through for 100 units as they were delivered, which in this case, was by the gross! Given some of their recent offworld surprises, the over order had proved very fortuitous, but still, there was a limit to how many storage cupboards she would allow to be filled with the bulky item.

"Should we have some transferred to the Academy Doctor?"

"Yes please..." Janet paused as she did the mental arithmetic, or rather,

"Sam, what's 74 times 144?"

"10656" came the prompt reply from her lover, almost without blinking.

"Thanks...transfer 10700 boxes to the Academy stores, which should leave us with 657...." began Janet, only to be nervously interrupted by her nurse.

"658 Ma'am?"

"No, I've just issued one..." began Janet, reaching onto the bed and grabbing a box which she tossed at Sam.

"Janet?" Sam instinctively clutched the box to her chest but didn't look at it.

"Kleenex, for your sneezes...."

"How did you know?" asked Sam amazed, the nurse deciding now was a good time to leave his boss alone, her interest in the stock take obviously gone for a few minutes.

"The guard in your corridor rang when you sneezed the first time - apparently it was quite impressive..."


“You didn’t think I’d know?” teased Janet kindly, marveling at how often Sam forgot how well Janet knew her, but also, how effective the base grapevine was, both for social and medical gossip.

“Ah…” Uncertain what to say, Sam went back to kicking the toe of one boot against the toe of the other.

“They’re just sneezes Sam…that ‘thing’ you’re working on was found in a field so it’s coated in dust and pollen…”

“I’m getting hayfever?” asked Sam, amazed.

“Yup…” confirmed Janet, amused. Only SG1 could suffer hayfever inside a mountain in Colorado in December….

“Holy hannah…” and, on that amazed note, Sam ambled off back to her lab, her mind already back on the problem of the ‘thing’ as Janet had called it.

Tags: [53], ncruuk, sg-1

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